Konnichiwa Minna-san! My name is Lori-chan, and I am the webmistress of Pandora's Box. This is one of my favorite fics. If I had to give this story a rating, I would probably give it a PG-13 because it deals with some heavy emotional stuff, (and there's a little kissy-poo) Enjoy! E-mail comments to me at l_e_collins@hotmail.com. The words in italics are lyrics from Savage Garden's song "Crash and Burn"

Turning to face the others, I broke down. In front of me, a small pink haired girl lay upon the ground, unmoving. They all thought I had done it on purpose. The faces of my former friends were now twisted in hate. Even Ami looked at me with a mixture of pity and apathy. The tears ran down my face freely, mixing with the rain and mud already on my pale cheeks. I slowly looked at each of them in turn. My blue eyes fell on the violet ones of Rei, the green of Makoto, the cobalt of Minako, and the sapphire of Ami. They all held no love for me, their leader. I didn’t care.

"How could you, Usagi?" Asked Rei, holding her tears at bay to glare at me in hatred.

"Hai, Usagi. Maybe you’d better leave" whispered Ami.

I spun on my heels and ran as fast and as far as I could away from them. I didn’t look back.

I ran and ran until my breathing was ragged . I was crying even then. I didn’t do it. I am Sailor Moon! Why would I hurt someone? I protected them! Never… Oh GOD! No… What would Mamo-chan think?

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

I had to find him before they did. He needed the truth. He needed to know it wasn’t my fault. I hoped he would understand. Panic was rising.

I needed him to hold me, to stroke my hair and say it was all right. I had de-transformed along the way somewhere. My street shoes thudded against the wet pavement in a rhythm akin to a funeral dirge.

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall

"Please God, tell me I haven’t killed her. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!" my mind screamed. I was in the middle of Juuban park. The lake was black. The nighttime waters mirrored my heart.

Inexorably my thoughts drifted back to the moments before.

Chibi-Moon had been screaming out her attack. "Pink Sugar Heart…ATTACK"! When a beam of dark energy hurled toward her. I had panicked and tried to kill the monster behind it in an effort to stop the beam.

"Moon Spiral Heart… ATTACK"! I hadn’t expected the pink senshi to dodge the beam from the youma and land in my attack’s path. Her scream still tore at the walls of my mind.

My world was crashing down about my ears. I ran to the waters of the lake. I plopped down right there in the sand. I didn’t feel the little grains chafe my skin as I sobbed. My friends, they didn’t believe me. Sure, I fought with the little pest time to time, but she was my daughter after all. I had no reason to kill her. DAMMIT I was trying to save her!

"She isn’t dead. She isn’t dead." I whispered over and over again to myself.

"Chibi-Usa!" I cried. The moon was rising in the west, and tonight it’s silver rays gave me no comfort. When I looked and the great white orb, all I could see was Chibi-Usa’s pale face. My little rabbit of the moon.

I looked at the waters of the lake again. It hurt so much. My heart wanted desperately to be still, to slow into a likeness of sleep. The Black waters of the lake looked so inviting. Standing, I walked towards the water.

I took off one shoe, and then the other. Slowly wading into the water, I felt my body go quiet. I thought that I should feel cold, but it wasn’t. I was in up to my knees. I kept going in deeper. The skirt I was wearing got wet as the water deepened, but I didn’t stop. I had a purpose. Now I was to my waist in water. A small shiver ran up my spine. Turning my head, I saw Mamo-chan in his tuxedo looking at me sadly.

"Great," I thought. "He blames me too. Well I won’t be here much longer anyway."

I kept wading into the water. Mamoru’s eyes pressed on my back as I continued on.

"Baka, Usagi." I said to myself. "He’s probably not even there anymore. He hates me just like everyone else."

I glanced over my shoulder again, and I saw him standing on the beach, his eyes brimming with tears. I turned toward him. I had to know.

"Will Chibi-Usa be Ok?" I whispered. For a moment, he didn’t do anything, but then he nodded once slowly. That was all I needed. "It was an accident," I murmured to him before turning around, "I was trying to save her."

I heard a choking noise behind me after a few steps.

"Usako, wait."

"What Mamo-chan?" I said, keeping my back to him.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I am killing myself, baka, what else?"

"But why?"

"Because you and everyone else hates me. No one believes me, and I nearly killed my own child. Now leave me alone, Chiba Mamoru."

" I can’t do that, Usagi."

" Why not?" I asked. My decision was fading, and I felt just a little cold.

"Because, Dammit Usako, I LOVE YOU!"

I turned around to see my Mamo-chan on his knees in the sand crying like a child.

"You don’t hate me?" I asked. My eyes went wide. A forbidden hope penetrated the pain in my heart.

"Never, Usagi. You are my soul-mate, my princess. You loved me even when I wanted to kill you, when I pushed you away with dreams! I could never hate you."

I ran out of the water and hugged him, sopping wet and covered with sand.

"I love you Mamo-chan." I murmured through my tears. "Never let me go again!"

"I love you too, Usako." He ruffled my head with one hand, "Now let’s go talk to the others."

I felt just the tiniest bit braver with my prince at my side. "Ok Mamo-chan."

"Let’s go Usagi"

"Hai."

He leaned towards me, his arm around my waist and tilted my head towards his. Nobody’s eyes closed and I felt myself melting into his The kiss proved everything he said was true.

"I love you Serenity"

"And I love you, Endymion."

Well, what do you think Minna? This is a pretty different style for me, the stuff in Italics are lyrics from Savage Garden’s song "Crash and Burn" Email fan or flame to l_e_collins@hotmail.com